A dream holiday to Japan has been wrecked by a 12-hour flight with no telly.
The once-in-a-lifetime vacation quickly turned into a holiday from hell when plane passengers were deprived of on-screen entertainment.
“I’d always wanted to go to Japan,” said Simon Williams. “You know, the usual reasons – the futuristic cityscape of Tokyo mixed with the traditional values and tranquillity of the countryside.
“But thanks to some sort of stupid software error on the plane, the main attraction of the trip – 12 hours of the latest films – was replaced by half a day of vacant staring in appallingly cramped conditions.
“Everyone was in such good spirits as we boarded the plane, enchanted by the thoughts of adventures to come. And then came the announcement – delivered casually, almost dismissively – that, by the way, the in-flight entertainment would not be available for the duration of the flight.
“I think the general reaction would have been more positive if we’d just been told the wings had fallen off. Some people turned their phones back on so they could tell their families they loved them. Others were so low they resorted to reading books. Actual books. Made of paper.
“With not so much as an old episode of Mr Bean to watch, I became extremely aware that I was hurtling through unbreathable air in an aluminium tube at a thoroughly unnatural velocity. My primary sensation was the throbbing of my legs with what could only be the onset of DVT.
“Whenever I distracted myself by going to the toilet, I flushed three times simply because the sudden, violent suction provided me with a pinch of visual and aural stimulation.
“Finally, we landed. And yes, Japan was amazing.
“But the damage had already been done, the trauma inflicted, the holiday ruined forever.”