Some pseudo-science shite has suggested the highly annoying thing you do might make you a genius or something.
“Scientists” have found that being constantly late, refusing to brush your teeth or telling everyone you love to f**k off on a Monday morning are actually brilliant character traits.
“All these things actually make you really clever”, said Dr Simon Williams.
“We’re not sure how, and we did use a really tiny sample of the population to prove our ‘results’ but it seems to be the only way to get you morons talking about science.
“So, yeah, ok, all of the bad shit you do basically makes you Steven Hawking. Congratulations. Now share it on Facebook.”
Moron, Jay Cooper, said, “I am delighted by these results.
“I’ve been kicking farm animals in the face for years, and apparently, that means I’m more likely to be professionally successful.
“Not sure when that will be, as I’m 38 now, and I still work as a lamppost cleaner, but you can’t argue with science.”