Man with loud mobile phone ringtone thinks he’s really it

author avatar by 1 year ago

A Chelmsford man revealed yesterday that having his ringtone on the loudest possible setting makes him feel like he really is absolutely it.

“Yeah, I’m the dog’s bollocks,” said team leader Barry Williams yesterday.

“Or, as I like to say, the mutt’s nuts.

“I’d say it’s an evolutionary thing. I mean, if we were still in dinosaur times, and I was the chief of our tribe, then I’d definitely have the loudest mobile phone.

“And everyone else would just have a shit Nokia.”

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First hand, the effects of the loud ringtone are startling, as evidenced when Mr Williams was interrupted from ‘motivating’ a new girl with some light sexual harassment by his phone.

A deafeningly loud and discordant version of ‘You got the Look’ by Roxette echoed through the open-plan office.

Mr Williams smiled to himself and walked across the office to answer it.

It’s fair to say that he looked like he thought he was it.

“Yeah, I had some of the computer geeks hack it to make it louder. They do that sort of shit for me because they think I’m pretty cool.”

As Mr Williams’ phone rang for the third time in twenty minutes, a young woman on the desk opposite could be heard muttering ‘tosser’.

But Mr Williams gave an assurance that she must have been referring to someone else.

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