Man left devastated after realising he needs a poo right after his shower

author avatar by 1 year ago

A man was left devastated this morning after realising that a bowel movement was imminent just moments after leaving the shower.

Simon Williams, 35, spoke of his traumatic experience, telling us, “Everyone knows that if you’re going to have a poo, you do it before you get in the shower.

“Only psychopaths and the feral do their poos after a shower. I mean, what is the point of scrubbing your sphincter spotless if you’re only going to push a turd out of it just a minute or two later? It renders the entire cleaning exercise pointless.

“A pristine bumhole is one of life’s lesser-known pleasures, and I like to think I can keep it that way for more than a couple of minutes after my shower each morning.

“And don’t talk to me about giving it a thorough wiping – of course I gave it a thorough wiping. But it’s not the same. No amount of wiping can match a soapy scrub and rinse.

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“I’ll tell you this much, I won’t be ordering a curry of Abdul’s Spice Emporium again in a hurry.”