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Racehorses have begun the search for a new thrill to satisfy their apparent love of danger, with BASE Jumping, bungee Jumping and skydiving amongst the options under consideration.
The equine adrenalin junkies, who, according to their owners “like nothing more than putting their lives at risk by jumping over fences the size of a bungalow”, have dismissed claims that they have little choice when it comes to their participation in the sport.
Speaking through humans who claim to know best, racehorses have been eager to reveal how much they enjoy it.
One horseracing enthusiast, who claimed to be channelling the spirit of one of last year’s horse racing fatalities, told us, “If you ask anyone involved in horseracing, they’ll tell you how much the horses love it.
“The possibility of their legs snapping like a breadstick in a vice is what they live for.
“Seriously, horses need someone sat on their back, hitting them with a stick just to stop them getting carried away.”
Another horse died in the Grand National this year, but racing fans insist it’s what they would have wanted.
“To suggest that it’s cruel to run a horse until its heart explodes is ill-informed nonsense,” insisted one punter.
“People who express concern at horses being euthanised as a result of injury really don’t understand the sport.
“We’ve undertaken a foolproof in-depth study that proves beyond doubt that horses would run in these races even if they knew the risks.
“The results show conclusively that if their ears are pricked, then they’re good to go.”
