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A defective Liz Truss is repeatedly walking into a wall in Washington while shrieking “woke culture.”
It has been malfunctioning for several hours now, and emergency services are on the scene.
“I’m a complete f**king maniac who came out to hear a speech that Liz was going to give about whether pigeons, Fanta and Belgium are too woke,” said complete f**king maniac Simon Williams.
“She’d just walked on stage, and she seemed to be having trouble arranging her face into that weird approximation of humanity that she does.
“All of a sudden, the was this loud crack and sparks and smoke came out of one of her nostrils.
“Then she opened her mouth, and this weird high-pitched buzzing came out. Me and the other bloke who’d come to hear her stepped back. It was a bit unnerving. The other bloke even let go of his cock for a minute.
“Then the buzzing stopped, and she just sort of wheeled off and smashed into the wall. Then she screamed ‘woke culture’ and smashed into the wall again. She kept doing it. Obviously, she must be broken.
“Shame, because I was looking forward to finding out if pigeons, Fanta and Belgium are too woke. I bet they are.”
The Liz Truss has been cordoned off, and bystanders have been warned to clear the area until it can be repaired or replaced with a new one.
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