Woman blows ten years’ worth of saved Nectar points on gin for the long weekend

author avatar by 1 year ago

Local woman Simone Williams has blown her entire 125,000 point Nectar account on gin which is expected to last her less than a week, it has emerged.

Simone, who had been saving her account for some years, had intended to use its contents carefully and sensibly to cover essential purchases during a future crisis – a resolution which lasted right up until she turned into the liquor aisle at her local Sainsburys.

“I had to wait for a space in the car park trying to keep the kids entertained by playing I-spy,” she said.

“You know – ‘I spy with my little eye something beginning with T – trolley, Q – queue, C – Coughing arsehole’ – that sort of thing. So by the time I got into the shop, I was about ready for some special mummy squash to go along with the shopping.

“And turning into the gin row was like being lost in a desert before suddenly surmounting a dune and coming across a beautiful oasis.”

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Witnesses described what happened next ‘like something out of a movie’, as Simone floated down the aisle adding bottle after bottle to her shopping trolley as if in a happy dream, before slapping her Nectar card down at the checkout and telling the cashier just to burn it.

Instore security guards told us, “We would normally double-check someone who is buying that volume of booze, but nobody in their right mind would have got between her and the exit with that trolley.”

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