Rupert Murdoch’s new fiance Ann Lesley Smith, has called off their engagement following the devastating news that Rupert Murdoch remains incredibly fit and well at the age of 92.
In a move that has shocked absolutely no one, the dental hygienist has decided to call time on her relationship with the very rich elderly man who apparently shows no signs of dying any time soon.
A source close to Smith told us, “When you’re planning to marry a 92-year-old billionaire, you don’t do it for the long term. You do it with one eye on the future, when, you know, they won’t be here. But Jesus H Christ if this guy isn’t f**king immortal.
“He’s healthier now at 92 than my last husband was at 65, and frankly, I’m not getting any younger. I will be 67 next birthday, and at this rate, I could be WELL into my 70s before Rupert pops his clogs.
“I really can’t wait that long. I’m into the last of my prime years, and I can’t waste them curled up in bed next to a malevolent withered scrotum, even if he is incredibly wealthy.
“I really thought I’d only have to do three-to-five years of this, at the VERY most. To be honest, I thought I’d hit the jackpot when he got a cold last week, but no, he recovered quicker than a professional athlete.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say he sold his soul to the devil to ensure he outlives us all.”