Dad demands enquiry into why the bloody lights are on in there

author avatar by 1 year ago

Against a fraught backdrop of a large electricity bill, Dad has demanded that an inquiry be held to get to the bottom of exactly why the bloody lights are on in there.

“It’s like bloody Oxford Street at Christmas in there,” said a furious and red-faced Dad yesterday, throwing the remote control down in frustration.

“Right, that’s it. I want to know exactly why the bloody lights are on in there.”

Mum immediately sought to calm the situation, suggesting that recriminations would solve nothing and simply dealing with the lights being on would be the best course of action.

“Oh, stop making such a to-do,” she said, keeping one eye on the David Attenborough documentary whilst crocheting a tea-cosy in the image of Bryan Adams.

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“Go and turn them off, if it bothers you that much.”

However, the threat of an enquiry provoked disarray amongst the children, with each claiming they had seen the other in there last, and it was definitely the other’s fault.

The inquiry, should it go ahead, would follow recent inquiries into whether or not you were born in a barn, and whether or not Dad is made of money.

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