Of course they haven’t. It’s an April fool. Why have you even clicked into the story? Are you still half asleep? Come on! Think about it.
Obviously if this were real, then it would be very newsworthy stuff, and definitely worth a read. You could be forgiven for wanting to see if it actually happened, and what they could possibly have done that isn’t entirely f**king heartless, but did you really expect to find a genuinely compassionate policy on these pages?
Unfortunately, it’s such an outlandish idea that it’s barely even worth considering as a prank headline to be used on April fool’s day, we were convinced that nobody would even read it.
Well, apart from you. What were you thinking!?