Parents who want classes around LGBT rights stopped on the grounds that they are “confusing” are somehow fine with all of the other confusing shite their children will have hammered into their ears at school.
Some schools have dropped the classes from their teaching program at the behest of parents who are apparently scared that little Timmy might find it all a “bit much”.
“If ‘confusion’ is their primary concern, I wonder why they are fine with algebra, dinosaurs, and physics? It seems a little inconsistent,” said puzzled headteacher, Simon Williams.
“I mean no disrespect to children, but they know absolutely jack shit about anything. EVERYTHING is confusing to them. Have you ever tried explaining a giraffe to someone who’s never seen or heard of one before? It’s a rollercoaster.
“So this protest is a bit weird, and kind of a shame, as statistically speaking, at least one kid in every class is likely to be gay, and it would have been cool to teach the kids that there’s nothing icky about that.
“But then they’ve come from homes where parents find LGBT stuff so ‘confusing’ that they’ve actually gone to the trouble of knocking up signs and having protests to make us stop talking about it, so I’m sure everything is going to work out fantastically for everybody.”
Parent, Hayley Rice, said, “It’s confusing, so no, don’t teach them that.
“Hmm? Algebra? No, that’s fine, you can teach them that. Because even though it’s confusing, nobody does it up the bum in algebra, do they? No? Cool, yes, crack on then.
“No, of course I can’t do a quadratic equation, sod off.”