Republicans defend Trump by insisting “traditional marriage has always been between a man, his third wife and a porn star”

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Following the revelation that Donald Trump could be arrested over his attempts to claim as ‘campaign expenses’ the hush money he used to pay a porn star to stay quiet over the affair they had while his post-natal wife cared for their new baby, the Republican Party have been quick to reaffirm that President Trump’s love life is completely normal.

Should the arrest go ahead, and Trump be found guilty of the potential felony charges, it will prevent him running for President again and cause potentially significant embarrassment in the eyes of his conservative fan base.

“The fake news media are lying with their suggestion that Donald Trump is somehow morally deficient, so today we feel it our duty to reaffirm that the President is a man of upstanding moral character,” announced Republican senator Chuck Williams this morning.

“In short, marriage has traditionally been between a man, whoever happens to be his wife at the time, and any number of gold-diggers he can get his grubby hands on.

“This is how marriage has been in America for centuries – it is upstanding, sustainable, the bedrock of our society, and there is no need to change it now just because the Liberal media don’t like former President and want to stop him taking back the White House.”

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He went on, “Fortunately, in Donald Trump we have a shining example of how a healthy marriage should look, he and Melania are a picture of happiness on the extremely rare occasions they’re seen together.

“And for those of you who still believe President Trump may have made some poor decisions along the way, don’t forget that Jesus said ‘Let he who has not cheated on his post-natal third wife with a porn star cast the first stone’.

“So there.”