‘I’m not a liar I’m just really thick’ insists Boris Johnson

author avatar by 1 year ago

Boris Johnson has insisted today that he is not a liar; he is just really, really stupid.

Johnson claims he hadn’t misled parliament concerning the law-breaking parties he attended during lockdown, after insisting he was an utter moron and didn’t realise know he was breaking the rules that he himself had recently set. 

Speaking earlier, he confirmed, “Yes I’m just a borderline simpleton. Nothing more Machiavellian than that.

“So you can’t really blame me for attending those parties, because I’m actually really stupid and didn’t know I was having parties. I mean, if someone doesn’t tell you that you’re at a party, how do you even know if you’re at a party?

“So actually, I was NOT misleading MP’s when I said all the rules were followed, as I didn’t know I was breaking the rules I had just made.

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“I mean,  do you think I would break my own rules AND have a photographer there to document it?

“I’m afraid I really am THAT stupid.

“And therefore it is absolutely crucial that I get to keep my job as a Tory MP.”

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