Gary Lineker returns to Match of the Day with promise not to feature any left-wingers

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

Saturday’s Match of the Day will be hosted by Gary Lineker once again, after it was agreed the show’s highlights would not feature any footballers that could be considered ‘of the left’. 

With this weekend’s show featuring non-commentated highlights and no presenters or pundits, news has now emerged that left-wingers will be banned from this coming weekend’s program.  

A spokesperson for the BBC confirmed, “We’re delighted to have Gary back, but the concession he made to ban left-winger includes Jack Grealish, and anyone else who plays predominantly on the left.

“We have insisted that if Gary is to continue airing his opinions on social media then it is important that Match of the Day give more prominence to right-wingers. In the interests of balance, obviously. 

“The left-wing ban on this weekend’s show will include any player who generally plays on the left, or calls themselves a left winger, or who tends to drift over to the left at regular points throughout the game. 

“Because of balance.”

Asked if Marcus Rashford will be allowed on the screens, we were told, “God no. He’s as left as they come.”

I agree with Gary – get the T-shirt!