Urgent COBRA meeting called by government, to see what other shit they can push through while everyone focuses on Gary Lineker 

author avatar by 12 months ago

The government has called an urgent COBRA meeting today, to see what other shit they can push through parliament whilst everyone talks about Gary Lineker. 

With news emerging earlier that proper football coverage is cancelled on the BBC because no media professionals want to go near it right now,  further news has now emerged that an urgent government COBRA meeting has been called by the Tories to rush a load of other shit through because nobody is actually paying attention. 

A spokesperson for the government confirmed, “We can get away with murder here. Maybe even literally.

“We can confirm that an urgent COBRA meeting has been called this afternoon in order to push through whatever the f**k we like because all the media cares about is Gary Lineker and Match of the Day.

“Obviously we need to act quickly whilst everyone continues talking about the football and what the BBC might do about it next. 

“Instead of the actual issues affecting the country, which have largely been ignored 

“So we can try to get some more inhumane policies passed and maybe even sort out this bullying thing whilst nobody is looking.  “

Asked if the proposed asylum policy is actually legal, we were told, “Yes but. what about all this Lineker stuff? And Match of the Day!?” 

I agree with Gary – get your mug here!