Controversial Tory MP 30p Lee Anderson is to present BBC Match of the Day until an agreement is reached with regular host Gary Lineker over his use of social media.
The BBC said that in the interest of impartiality, Anderson would take over presenting duties and would be joined in the studio on Saturday evenings by Home Secretary Suella Braverman and professional right-wing gobshite, Nigel Farage.
“We are in no way capitulating in the face of hysterical pressure from the right-wing of the Tory party and their press attack dogs,” said BBC executive Simon Williams.
“It’s just that Gary has been in the news quite a bit lately and needs a bit of time on his own to think about things that will hopefully end with him deleting his Twitter account.
“It can be good to shake things up a bit, and Lee is a down-to-earth man-of-the-people type who also happens to hate most people.
“However, he also knows very little about football, which makes him perfect for the role now that we have decided we don’t care about football knowledge when choosing who should present our flagship football programme.”
Anderson is looking forward to taking over presenting duties on Saturday night.
“I’ll do it my way,” says the MP.
‘There’ll be none of this left-wing woke analysis you get from Lineker and that lot, praising the tikki-takki football these foreigners play. Real fans want to see the ball hoofed like f**k right up the park and into the mixer like it was in the 70s.
“And if I see any of those pony-tailed foreign ponces rolling about on the floor feigning injury I’ll call it out and Suella will have them deported.
“I was going to invite Penny Mordaunt to come on, but even I know that her football analogies are total shite.”