Woke Premier League officials accuse ‘cruel’ Liverpool of bullying Manchester United

author avatar by 12 months ago
NewsThump Needs Your Help

After Liverpool beat Manchester United 7-0 in yesterday’s premier league fixture, woke Premier League officials have criticised the Merseyside club for bullying their Manchester counterparts.

With the Premier League keen to retain its family-friendly reputation with viewers around the world, they have been quick to speak out about what they see as a clear case of bullying.

Premier League official Simon Williams told us, “One of the things you learn as a child is not to be a bully. It doesn’t matter if you’re bigger, stronger and more physically capable than the kids around you, you don’t bully them.

“Liverpool appear to have completely forgotten this important life lesson. Poor Manchester United. Liverpool could easily have got to 3-0 and then taken their foot off the pedal; maybe even let Manchester United have a little goal of their own, but no – they pressed home their physical advantage until the other side was almost in tears.

“These are not the values we embrace in the Premier League, we are an inclusive organisation and we value all of our members, even the weak ones from Manchester.

NewsThump Best sellers

“We will be having words with the Anfield hierarchy, and we expect them to write a ‘sorry we hammered you’ card to Manchester United with a promise not to do it again.”