Flags with dragons on ‘just cooler’, confirms science

author avatar by 1 year ago

Flags with dragons on make all those other flags with crissed crosses and boring stripes of colour look a pile of pants, according to a new study released today.

Dragons, which knock shit like boring coloured blocks and stars into a cocked hat, could make any flag cooler and countries which are unlucky enough not be represented by a gigantic fire-breathing basilisk on the world stage are advised to adopt one pronto or risk being left behind.

“If you take a good look at the flags from around the world, they’re all of a muchness, really,” flag expert Simon the Williams told us.

“They’re all stripe this and hammer and sickle that and star the other. There’s really no imagination going on there at all. You can barely tell one from the other, like France and Italy for example. Which is which? If one of them had a massive wyvern on it you’d know whose it was instantly.

“If you really want to stand out as a nation and make people realise how ace and cool you are, then you need a banner with a great big stompy lizard. That’s just how science works.

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“It’s a wonder that Japan hasn’t stuck Godzilla on theirs rather than just having that big orange circle when you think about it.

“It’s believed that Wales adopted a dragon as their national symbol after seeing the ones which live in Ivor the Engines boiler,” he added.

“Although I admit I could be talking utter crap and making that up.”