‘The Woke snowflakes had better not try and edit the words in my Bible’, insists man seemingly unaware there are dozens of differently edited versions of the Bible

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As the ‘book censoring’ controversy continues apace with the announcement that the publishers of the James Bond novels might remove a few offensive terms that were commonplace in the 1950s, many have expressed outrage that any beloved book could ever have a few words removed or changed.

Simon Williams, a fan of the original sexist and slightly racist James Bond of the 1950s novels, is, in a turn of events that surprises absolutely no one, also a Conservative Christian. He told us, “How DARE they try and change a book I care about.

“What’s next? The Bible? I tell you, if they try and change a SINGLE word in my Bible, I will take to the streets!”

When Williams was asked which Bible he meant, he told us, “THE Bible. The ONE Bible, you idiot.”

It was then explained to Williams that there are many edited versions of the Bible, including the King James Version, the New King James Version, and the Revised Standard Version. Then there’s the Holman Christian Standard Bible, the English Standard Version, the New Living Translation, and the New International Version. Not to mention a whole raft of spin-off versions, such as the Latter Day Saints version of the King James Bible, which omits entire sections of the original King James version.

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Williams was left silent for a few moments, before continuing, “No, that simply can’t be right.

“I truly believe that editing books to ensure they are more relatable to modern audiences is definitely a ‘bad thing’, so it’s impossible that this has been done many, many times to the most important book in the world – the book I love above all others – and all without me even realising it was happening.

“You must be wrong, sorry.”

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