James Bond novels being edited to remove the N-word is just like Orwell’s 1984, insists simpleton

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The perma-offended right-wing snowflakes of social media are today outraged at a publishing business’s decision to try and sell more books to modern consumers by removing some of the more offensive language that was commonplace in the 1950s.

Contrarian misinformation disseminator, and perjury enthusiast, Andrew Bridgen MP, told us, “If you read George Orwell’s 1984 – which I clearly haven’t – then you’ll find out that the plot revolves around an authoritarian government that takes control of everyone’s mind by removing half a dozen offensive terms from a seventy-year-old novel.

“I mean, yes, the story they edit in the novel is still exactly the same, and 99.999% of the words are the same – but the changes they make are definitely Orwellian. Because Orwell wrote it – which is the literal definition.

“No, I do not see any irony in me adding something that isn’t there into a 70-year-old novel, in order to argue against things being removed from a different 70-year-old novel.”

Meanwhile, non-morons have let out a huge sigh before quietly explaining to the angry simpletons, “This isn’t censorship. No words have been banned. No one is being arrested for reading or owning original versions of these books.

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“What’s happened is a capitalist organisation believes they might sell a few more of their products by making their books a little bit friendlier to the consumers of 2023. The fact that you all think this is ‘Orwellian’ is simply further proof that you’ve become radicalised victims of the culture war.

“It’s amazing that you’re so willing to embarrass yourself in public like this. But please continue, it’s quite entertaining for the rest of us.”