Man who successfully bought tomatoes at his local market insists shortages can not possibly exist elsewhere

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A man who bought a punnet of cherry tomatoes at his local grocers this morning, is dismissing as fake news any claims that there might be shortages at other shops in other parts of the country.

Successful tomato procurer, Derek Matthews, told us, “My personal experience is all the evidence you need to determine that, in reality, there are absolutely no supply issues in this entire country.

“If there really was a shortage of tomatoes in this country, then how would it be possible for me to just go to the local grocer and get a punnet of tomatoes without any hassle at all? He didn’t even limit how many I could buy.

“Don’t buy into the fake news media and instead believe me, and my very limited personal experience, as the source of definitive truth about the macroeconomic supply chain issues facing the country.”

However, Derek’s assertions have been debunked by just about anyone with a reasonable level of secondary education.

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Sociologist Simon Williams said, “This is the issue with simpler minds that roam amongst us. Everything complex is reduced to black and white. There can be no complexity. There is no nuance. They prefer their complex issues to be explained on the side of a bus.

“If they can personally get tomatoes, then ‘there is no tomato shortage’. If they personally recovered easily from Covid, then it’s ‘just a cold’. If they personally have to scrape ice off their windows in the morning, then ‘global warming is a myth’.

“They’ll also be the ones telling you the economy is actually doing great because they got a 10% pay rise this year.”