Explorers discover the mythical city of Chelmsford

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Explorers working in Essex have discovered the legendary city of Chelmsford.

Previously thought to be a myth, the city was uncovered by a team of explorers who were attempting to chart the A12 road and progress into the unexplored areas of Essex, Suffolk and Norfolk.

“Charting the A12 was always going to be an exciting expedition,” explained Professor Simon Williams, the world’s leading expert on Essex, who led the team and was the first into Chelmsford.

“We were going to make discoveries, perhaps learn more about the ancient and mysterious land we know as Essex, but discovering Chelmsford? I don’t think any of us expected anything like that.”

Professor Williams entered the city from the west.

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“It was very, very exciting; we were making our way along the A12, we’d made contact with some settlements along the way, and the people seemed friendly and helpful, and then in the distance, I caught a glimpse of a large structure.

“We entered a larger settlement via a rudimentary roundabout arrangement and approached the structure and there it was. A sign. The Clock Tower Retail Park. That could only mean one thing. We were in Chelmsford.

“I don’t mind admitting that I started to weep. It was exactly as the ancient texts described it. A DFS, a Marks and Spencer food hall, a Costa coffee. It was true, all of it. Chelmsford was real, and I was actually standing there, looking at the legendary Dunelm superstore.”

The professor even made contact with a Chelmsford tribesman.

“We had no common language, but I managed to ascertain that his name was Dar-Ron. He was some form of artisan. He certainly seemed friendly and gifted us each with a glass of the local brew. A mildly intoxicating drink called Karllin. It didn’t taste of much, but we appreciated the gesture.”

Unfortunately, the teams’ supplies were low and they were forced to return to civilisation, but Professor Williams means to return as soon as he can.

“I think the Clock Tower Retail Park is just the start. If what the myths and stories tell us are true, and I think they are, then High Chelmer, Oaklands Park, the Riverside Ice Rink, all these magical places that have captured our imagination for generations, they could all be real.”

The discovery of Chelmsford should expand our knowledge and understanding of the people and culture of Essex is being hailed as potentially the most exciting find since the previously thought mythical city of Romford was uncovered in 1978.