Jacob Rees-Mogg’s top five reasons why a shortage of fresh produce is really a Brexit benefit

author avatar by 10 months ago

As supermarkets continue to limit the amount of fresh produce that their customers can buy, staunch Brexiter Jacob Rees-Mogg has come out swinging to explain why this situation is actually one of Brexit’s many benefits.

With reduced supply due to poor weather, Spain and Morocco are prioritising the supply of fresh produce to the single market, ahead of orders for ‘difficult to do business with’ Brexit Britain, Rees-Mogg has leapt into action with his top five reasons why this is great news.

Below is his list in full:

  1. “This is an opportunity to sample many of the nation’s fine home-grown produce. Who needs Tomatoes and peppers when you can enjoy a salad of potatoes and turnips.”
  2. “When taken in high enough quantities, vitamin C can cause diarrhoea, nausea, abdominal cramps and other gastrointestinal issues, so by limiting access to foods high in vitamin C, Brexit is actually making our nation safer and healthier.”
  3. “According to the Roman poet, Sextus Aurelius Propertius, ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’. So imagine how much you will enjoy a tomato when you finally get to enjoy one again, at some unspecified point in the future. Brexit will have increased your enjoyment of these foods tremendously.”
  4. “Tomatoes are red, and no one wants to eat communist foods, do they? Thank you Brexit!”
  5. “While people are busy googling how long it takes to get scurvy, no one is paying attention to the pig’s ear we are currently making of the Northern Ireland Protocol and its impact on the Good Friday Agreement – thank you Brexit!”

The definitive Brexit Venn Diagram – see it here!