Man who never eats salad feeling pretty smug at tomato shortage

author avatar by 1 year ago

A man whose diet mainly consists of fast food and ready meals has been left feeling pretty smug this morning following news of tomato shortages across the country.

With photos of empty shelves going viral on social media, people who prefer to avoid fruit and vegetables have claimed long-awaited vindication of their lifestyles.

Salad-dodger Simon Williams told us, “Last time I checked there was no shortage of frozen pizzas or oven chips, so who exactly is the idiot here?

“All you salad eaters are the ones struggling to fill your plates, whereas I will be having a lovely frozen lasagne for dinner tonight. With chips, obviously.”

Meanwhile, Brexiters have been quick to get very cross indeed any time anyone suggests the shortages might have something to do with Brexit.

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Keen Brexiter supporter, Derek Matthews, told us, “Just because we now rely more heavily on tomatoes from Morocco – because Brexit made it more difficult to import them from Spain – doesn’t mean problems importing from Morocco are a ‘Brexit’ issue.

“I mean, yes, if we weren’t so reliant on Morocco for our tomotoes, then these issues wouldn’t be as bad – but if you’re going to start blaming little things like this for Brexit, then you’ll end up blaming Brexit for loads of our problems.

“Oh.”