US President Joe Biden has announced his delight at being in the UK, just minutes after arriving on a surprise visit to Ukraine.
Despite being repeatedly reminded by aides, Biden was last seen asking for directions to Buckingham Palace, and wondering where Boris is.
US delegation official Chuck Williams told us, “President Biden is having a little joke at your expense, and you absolutely should not take his request for a flying visit to the Tower of London seriously.
“He knows exactly where he is, and who President Zelensky is, and his decision to ask the Ukrainian President to park his car and to get him a coffee when he greeted him was just a bit of gentle American joshing.
“President Biden is at the top of his game, but if you could write down any questions you might have, we will be happy to get you written answers in due course.
“No, you absolutely will not be able to interview him.”
Meanwhile, Boris Johnson has told friends that he will scratch Zelensky’s eyes out after watching “that bitch cosying up to another world leader.”