The nation’s morons have announced their delight at being able to quote Magna Carta again, less than two years after they incorrectly used it to protest against using facemasks in Tesco.
For reasons unknown, the 1215 document, which protected land barons from the whims of King John, has been latched onto by low-information simpletons who seem to think it protects them from whatever policy they’ve been tricked into thinking is being promoted by the new world order this week.
Derek Williams, 52, told us, “Article 17 of the Magna Carta clearly states that I should be allowed to drive through newly pedestrianised areas of my local town centre. This is a right I will defend with my life. Or until it gets dark, as I’ve got work tomorrow.
“We can not let this tyrannical government take away our rights, and the Magna Carta is like a cheat code for stopping the government doing things we don’t like, and it has been ever since it was signed back in like, 1850 or something.
“I’m going to drive wherever I like because I’ve got a badge from Amazon that says I’m a freeman of the land, so the police can’t even legally arrest me. It’s true, I read it on Twitter.”