Senior cross-party summit held to confront ‘lack of benefits’ from punching ourselves in the face

author avatar by 1 month ago

Senior politicians and business leaders from both sides of the Punch-in-the-Face debate met last week to discuss the lack of benefits from punching ourselves in the face.

Attendees at the meeting at Dednaditch Park included Michael Gove, who co-led the 2016 Vote Punch in the Face campaign with Boris Johnson and Gisela Stuart, and Tory pro-Punch-in-the-Facers Michael Howard and Norman Lamont.

Labour ministers David Lammy and John Healey also attended the meeting, chaired by Peter Mandelson, along with John Symonds of GlaxoSmithKline and Oliver Robbins, chair of Goldman Sachs and former government Chief Punch-in-the-Face negotiator.

A document obtained by The Observer titled, ‘How can we make punching ourselves in the face work better with our neighbours in Europe?’ opened with an acknowledgement of the growing opinion that punching ourselves in the face is “acting as a drag on our growth and inhibiting the UK’s potential”.

“The main thrust of it was that punching ourselves in the face was not delivering,” said the source, confirming however that “not punching ourselves in the face will not be on the agenda.”

Gove was apparently “honest” about the shortcomings of punching ourselves in the face, while still believing it would prove the right decision in the long run.

The Office for Budget Responsibility has predicted that by 2031, punching ourselves in the face will reduce the UK’s GDP per capita by 4%.

The unusual meeting reflects the growing political opinion that punching ourselves in the face threatens the position of any future government careers.