Sam Smith becomes first pop star to wear mad trousers

author avatar by 1 year ago

Further to the outrage provoked by creating the world’s first sexually provocative music video, Sam Smith has shocked the world by becoming the first pop star ever to wear really mad trousers.

“Well, this changes everything, frankly,” exclaimed leading pop pundit Simon Williams.

“A top pop star? And they’re wearing mad trousers? This completely shifts both the pop star paradigm and the trousers paradigm.”

Smith wore the mad trousers alongside an equally mad jumper to the Brit Awards on Saturday evening and promptly caused Twitter to explode in an orgy of righteous trouser fury.

“I’m disgusted that a pop star would wear trousers like that,” tweeted someone who apparently didn’t have anything better to do.

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“They are meant to be a role model. What if kids see those trousers? I agree with Lee Anderson, and we should bring back the death penalty for people who video themselves doing murders and people who wear disgusting trousers.”

Famously, in the past, pop stars such as Prince, Boy George, David Bowie and Freddie Mercury always wore sensible, well-pressed trousers that were modest, comfortable and rather smart. 

“Frankly, I think Sam’s let the pop star community down here,” said former Health Secretary Alan Milburn.

“I think they should apologise, buy themselves some nice sensible M&S slacks, and then we can all move on.”

However, it seems unlikely that anyone will be able to ‘move on’ as the former leading light of New Labour hopes.

After becoming the first pop star to do a sexy video and wear mad trousers, speculation is feverish about what Smith will do next.

Some are even suggesting that they might come out and say that they fancy men. Something that could very likely bring society as we know it to a complete collapse.

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