I needed to borrow £800k to buy all of my children toothbrushes, insists Boris Johnson

author avatar by 1 year ago

Boris Johnson has defended his decision to call in favours to borrow £800k, insisting he needed to borrow the money to make sure all of his children had a new toothbrush.

With many right-wing commentators insisting people shouldn’t have children if they can’t afford to buy a toothbrush for them, they have gone on to explain why Boris’ situation is “different”.

Frothing right-winger and noise maker Kelvin McKenzie explained, “I obviously agree with the sentiment that you shouldn’t keep having children if you can’t afford them, which is why Boris borrowed so much money – despite earning more than 99% of the country.

“It would have been very irresponsible to have had more children with the current Mrs Johnson to add to the four, five, six he already had, unless he was sure of his financial situation. And the only way to do that was to borrow a lot of money with the help of a friend.

“Borrowing all that money was being a responsible parent. Sure, he’d already had the kids by that point, but we’ll ignore that for now,

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“I honestly don’t know why all these poor people outside the foodbank don’t simply borrow £800k with the help of their friends instead of scrounging off the rest of us.

“Losers, the lot of ’em.”

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