What’s the point of putting the prices up if you can’t break into people’s houses to take the money, asks British Gas

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British Gas has defended its practise of sending agents to break into customer homes to install pre-pay meters, insisting that if they didn’t then there would have been no point putting their prices up so much this year.

Despite mounting pressure on the energy giant for their behaviour, executives have insisted that price gouging and ‘breaking and entering’ go hand-in-hand in a modern capitalist economy.

Executive team member Simon Williams told us, “Look, you can’t expect perfect behaviour in an oligopolistic marketplace where ‘competitors’ can put up their prices by over 100% but then don’t have the power to force customers to pay the new prices. What did you think would happen?

“That we would simply accept poor people not paying our new extortionate prices? We have shareholders, and profit forecasts and bonuses to think about, you know?

“Honestly, the thing I’m most surprised by here is that anyone is surprised by us doing this. At the last board meeting I suggested taking valuables to cover any arrears when we break in to fit the pre-pay meters, but I lost the vote 6-5.

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“I’ll try again in the spring, and see how the shareholders feel about my idea if our profits have dropped by a few million.”

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