Rishi Sunak has more fixed penalty notices during his time in government than he has general election wins, thanks to his latest fine from Lancashire police.
Sunak was given the fixed penalty notice for failing to wear a seatbelt, which when added to his fixed penalty fine for attending a party in lockdown means he’ll have more fixed penalty notices than general election wins until at least 2030.
Conservative party spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “Rishi is obviously sorry about the fixed penalty notice. Oh, and the other fixed penalty notice. But he would have more general election wins if he called a general election. Which he won’t, because it wouldn’t be fair on Labour to humiliate them so much.
“Which is the only reason he won’t call one. Yes it is, shut up.”
Meanwhile, Tory voters have welcomed the latest fixed penalty notice, insisting it’s nice to know the man in charge of the country doesn’t mind breaking the law every now and again.
“He’s one of us, definitely. Though I’d prefer it if he got caught a little bit less, he’s giving the rest of us a bad name.
“Not the ‘breaking the law bit’, the bit about being so incompetent you keep getting caught.”