BBC to introduce adult soundtrack on Red Button for all FA Cup matches

author avatar by 11 months ago

The BBC is to offer viewers the option of listening to a sexualised soundtrack on the Red Button for all FA Cup games following a successful trial during the Wolves Liverpool Third Round replay.

The move follows positive feedback from viewers who preferred listening to a woman moaning excitedly during a bout of coitus than to the sound of Danny Murphy droning on about the impact of Virgil Van Dyke’s injury on Liverpool’s season.

“It’s quite a bold move by the BBC, but I think it’ll prove very popular,” says Liverpool fan Simon Williams.

“I mean given the option of listening to Jermaine Jenas or Alan Shearer prattling on about the magic of the cup, or pressing the Red Button to listen to a hot vixen getting rogered senseless on the soundtrack to Logjammin’ 2, then it’s the Red Button every time.”

BBC executives have defended the introduction of an adult entertainment option following some viewer complaints.

“We understand that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea,” says BBC Sport producer Fenton Barnes.

“But in a crowded marketplace for football coverage, we wanted to offer something radical to stand out from our competitors.

“From now on, during our live games, a scantily clad adult actress will appear on the top right of the screen with the words ‘Go On, Press My Red Button’.”

ITV is understood to be launching a similar service with the sound of copulation overlaid with the voice of pundit Roy Keane shouting “Of COURSE he’s made her climax, he’s an adult entertainment actor – that’s his job!”.