Police insist they had no reason to suspect the behaviour of officers they had nicknamed The Rapist, Pete the Perv and Bastard Dave

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Police forces around the country have insisted today that they had no reason to believe they were getting anything other than exemplary behaviour from the officers nicknamed The Rapist, Pete the Perv and Bastard Dave.

With those three alone now being responsible for dozens of sexual assaults and at least one murder, experts are wondering if perhaps the nation’s detectives might be encouraged to look at one or two of the clues directly under their noses.

Member of the public Simon Williams told us, “I don’t know, I only drive a forklift for a living, but if one of my work colleagues was nicknamed the rapist, I wouldn’t let him within a hundred feet of any woman I cared about. But then I’m not a highly trained investigative professional, am I?”

Met Police officer, Derek Matthews, disputed the claims that dangerous officers are easy to spot, telling us, “It’s easy to point fingers after the fact, but I really don’t think you can use nicknames to determine who is a danger to women.

“Look at my crew, for example, there’s Gazza, Loz, Lanky Si, Tel, and Gropey Gary. There’s not a single clue amongst them.”