Nation excited to see what Hermes/Evri rebrands itself as this time

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As the brand name of delivery company Evri was left as tattered as its predecessor Hermes, consumers have announced their excitement for the inevitable forthcoming rebrand.

After questions were asked in parliament regarding Evri’s terrible track record in doing the only thing they are paid to do, consumer experts are predicting a new name for the company any minute now.

Consumer rights reporter Simon Williams told us, “There is nothing more demoralising for a consumer than ordering something online, getting the shipping notification email and then realising the thing you’ve ordered has been handed over to Hermes, sorry, Evri.

“From that point, it becomes a game of chance on whether your order arrives in one piece, broken, or simply disappears altogether into the ether.

“So when you are a logistics company such as Hermes, sorry, Evri, and your name has been tarnished by repeated poor performance and thousands of disastrous customer experiences, you are really only left with two choices.

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“One; you can conduct a root and branch overhaul of your business model, to ensure your infrastructure and your employees are not only capable of excellence, but are eager to excel in the delivery of the service for which you charge your customers.

“Or two; you can ditch the poisoned brand and rebrand yourself as something else while hoping no one notices.

“My money is once again on the second one.”