Matt Hancock spends record amount of time in his constituency after watching Avatar 2 in local cinema

author avatar by 1 year ago

Matt Hancock has spent a record amount of time in his constituency after watching blockbuster Avatar 2 in his local cinema.

The former health secretary spent just under four and a half hours at the Odeon cinema in his West Suffolk constituency, with the sequel running at more than three hours long. 

A local resident who attended the same screening said, “I was shocked when I saw him. We’re used to him appearing on reality TV and shagging in his Westminster office, but to see him gracing the area with his presence was a real shock.”

Another witness told us, “He appeared all smiles, but it was a bit of a nuisance to have him in the screening with us, because before the movie even kicked in, he was loudly kissing in the back seats.

“It’d be alright if he didn’t keep moaning ‘call me Prime Minister’ every five minutes.”

A spokesman for Mr Hancock said, “By spending several hours in a local business, Matt is showing his dedication to supporting the local economy. 

“People are even saying that he didn’t talk to anyone, but he said ‘excuse me’ to someone who was in his way, and spoke at length with the cashier about the popcorn sizes. 

“This is a man in touch with the people of Britain.”