The man considered to be the spiritual leader of all entitled middle-aged men wallowing in ignorance, Jeremy Clarkson, was so incensed that Meghan Markle claimed she was in danger in Britain, that he called for her to be violently stripped naked and pelted with shit.
Simon Williams, a 65-year-old Top Gear fan who thinks knowing about cars he can’t afford is the same as having a personality, said he also felt a homicidal fury at the thought that a person of colour thinks people like him are dangerous.
“How DARE Meghan Markle say that those people who openly fantasise about harming her, in frighteningly elaborate ways, make her unsafe?
“People of this country are sick and tired of being called racist just because we psychotically obsess over this one black woman who says she doesn’t like us.
“Jeremy speaks for the thousands of us who understand that calling someone racial slurs does not make you a racist as long as you bought an Asian Dub Foundation CD in 1998.
“I’ve had it up to here with everyone putting us down solely based on the actions of me and my peers!
“I ask you, what is it in the choice of tabloids I read, the people I vote for, my obsession with a few people crossing the channel or my jokes about the skin tone of a royal baby that marks me out as a racist? I pay tax, I’ll have you know!
“Jezza is right, like always. She needs to be paraded nude through the streets and pelted with turds until she acknowledges that we are lovely and tolerant people.”