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In a surprising turn of events, the Royal College of Nurses has called off their strike action after the government offered them a huge pay rise – to be paid in exposure.
The nurses, who have been demanding better pay and working conditions for months, were initially sceptical of the government’s offer. However, after much discussion, they decided that the exposure would be a valuable form of payment.
“At first, we thought it was a joke,” said one nurse, who wished to remain anonymous.
“But then we realised that exposure is actually a really valuable currency these days. We’re always being told that we need to build our personal brands, and this is a great way to do it. If it’s good enough for the private sector, it’s good enough for us.”
The government has hailed the deal as a major victory, with a spokesperson telling us, “We’re delighted that the nurses have accepted our offer. Exposure is the currency of the future, and we’re confident that this will be a win-win situation for everyone involved. But especially the Treasury.”
The nurses will now receive regular doses of exposure, which they can use to build their personal brands and boost their careers. Many have already started posting on social media about their experiences as NHS nurses, and the response has been overwhelmingly positive.
“I never thought I’d be excited about being paid in exposure,” said one nurse. “But it’s actually a really good deal. I’m already getting so many likes on my Instagram posts, and it’s only been a few days.”
The government has also promised to provide the nurses with access to a range of online courses and workshops, to help them make the most of their exposure.
After the success with the royal college of Nurses, the government has made a generous new offer to the RMT, where workers will get a 15% pay rise, paid entirely in ‘klout’.
