Everything is so relentlessly awful that inflation of 10.7% now qualifies as ‘good news’

author avatar by 2 months ago

Prices increasing by 10.7% in the year to November is now seen as “good news” thanks to the unremitting misery of everything else going on at the moment.

As the headline rate of inflation fell from 11.1% in October to 10.7% in November, simpering idiots have latched onto this fact in the hope it will provide a tiny moment of respite in an otherwise miserable existence.

“Yay! Everything is getting better!” said Simon Williams, a Tory voter from Basingstoke who would have considered 10% inflation a sign of impending economic collapse a year ago.

“This is where we turn the corner, definitely. Rish and his team have EVERYTHING under control, I have complete faith in him and everything they are doing.

“Yes, I do. I definitely do. Complete faith. It’s getting better. Definitely.”

Meanwhile, non-morons have warned against getting the trend of becoming over-excited by bad news simply because the news is normally so utterly terrible.

Dr Imelda Watkins told us, “Psychologically speaking, it can be very tempting to latch on to ‘bad’ things under the misapprehension they are ‘good’, when you’ve been exposed to a relentless torrent of truly awful things.

“For example, hypothetically speaking, voters could be mistreated and lied to by their rulers for years on end, but then find themselves sufficiently delighted by a 1p tax cut in the run-up to an election that they will vote for them again.

“Oh.”