Alright Zuckerberg, you start showing our articles again and we’ll pretend Metaverse doesn’t look rubbish

author avatar by 1 year ago

Alright Zuckerberg, you win, for reasons best known to yourself and whatever half-assed ‘business model’ you’ve got scribbled down on the back of a fag packet somewhere, you’re showing our articles to something like 4% of the people who want to see them.

So, here’s the deal.

You start showing our articles to anyone who has told you they want to see them, and we’ll pretend that your whole Metaverse thing doesn’t look a crappy Second Life rip-off that’s going to die on its arse in the next couple of years.

We’ll even write some articles about how serious people will want to have business meetings and the like in what looks like a Wii-U game from 2014.

Having an avatar with no legs? Amazingly innovative, and definitely not a metaphor for how little you seem to understand about how humans work. Having to spend the day with a stupid headset on holding crappy joysticks? Oh yeah, we’ll all totally be doing that in ‘the future.’

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We’ll even use our fictional everyman, Simon Williams, to illustrate that everyone is really excited to be a part of the whole Metaverse deal.

“Hello, I, Simon Williams, an average person, am certainly tremendously excited to involve myself in the Metaverse and everything it entails. It definitely doesn’t look like a load of poorly conceived sh*t.”

So, it’s settled then, we’ll write nice things about your Metaverse, up to and including such time as you get bought out by a different egomaniacal tech-prick, and you break the habit of a lifetime by actually giving people what they’d like to see on Facebook.