Elon Musk has set about raising the money needed to buy Dave Chappelle’s audience, in the hope he can turn a once well-regarded entity into a platform full of sycophants willing to proclaim their love for him.
The move comes after Musk was roundly booed for several minutes after appearing on stage unannounced at a Dave Chappelle gig in San Francisco.
As news of the acquisition leaked online, Musk told his followers on Twitter, “Dave Chappelle’s audience is clearly failing, and when I see things that are failing I want to buy them and make them work properly, it’s that simple really.
“I will buy Dave Chapelle’s audience and create the greatest audience on the planet. Once I’ve acquired the audience, I will take a good look around, and if there are people in there who are not willing to get in line with the required level of sycophantic cheering at my every appearance, I will simply replace them with people who will do as I demand.
“The new Chappelle audience will be hardcore, and there will be many long nights where you are sat there for hours clapping for me when I appear on stage unannounced.
“I will make these people love me, even if it costs me every penny I have.”