Government to end homelessness by housing people inside thousands of empty promises

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In a bold and innovative move, the UK Government has announced plans to tackle the homelessness crisis by providing thousands of empty promises as accommodation for those in need.

In a statement, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak said, “We are committed to ending homelessness in this country, and we believe that empty promises are the way forward. We have an abundance of them, and it only seems fair to put them to good use during the current cold weather.”

The empty promises will be sourced from various government departments and will be refurbished to provide basic shelter for those without a home. Each empty promise will include a bed, a small kitchen area and a toilet.

Sunak added, “This is a compassionate and cost-effective solution to the homelessness crisis. We will be able to provide shelter for thousands of people without spending a penny of taxpayer money.”

Critics have pointed out that empty promises are not a sustainable solution to homelessness and do not provide the necessary support and services that people in need require. However, the government has dismissed these concerns, stating that the empty promises are a temporary measure and that they are working on a “comprehensive and long-term plan” to tackle homelessness.

Homeless man Simon Williams was one of the first recipients of a previously empty promise, he told us, “Blimey, this place is massive. Apparently, it was a promise that Brexit would make us better off, but it’s been completely empty since about 2016. There’s not a lot in here, but it’s better than being on the street. Just.”

Despite the backlash from homeless charities, the government remains committed to its empty promise housing plan and will begin rolling it out in the coming weeks.

If you want to help a homeless family find a roof for their heads this Christmas, you can donate to Shelter HERE