If you live outside a 180-mile radius of the North Pole then you’ll be out of luck when it comes to presents, it has been revealed today.
With Christmas only a few weeks away, the global population has been stunned to discover that Santa Claus will be unlikely to make his annual delivery route, thanks to his investment in an electric vehicle.
North Pole spokesman Simon Williams told the press, “A decision was made by Father Christmas that we should move with times and swap his eight reindeer for something more sustainable.
“The reindeer eat a hell of a lot of food to sustain their monumental journey, release ungodly amounts of methane during the flight on Christmas Eve, and there have always been rumours circulating of bullying within the ranks aimed at one red-nosed reindeer who we can’t name for legal reasons.
“So Father Christmas has retired the reindeer and purchased an electric vehicle, which will be much better for the planet.”
He continued, “Unfortunately this does mean that if you live more than 180 miles away from the North Pole you’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell of actually getting any presents delivered. Sorry.”
There are reports that BP is hurriedly putting in EV charging points at 180-mile intervals between the North Pole and the rest of civilisation, but their efforts have been confounded by installing chargers with the wrong type of connectors.