The possible shortage of penicillin is unlikely to be a problem, now that Tory Baroness Michelle Mone has created a new company that specialises in providing it.
Mone, who has a stellar track record of meeting the government’s critical needs at short notice, said she would happy to introduce ministers to executives from her new firm who have lots of ‘contacts’ in the penicillin industry.
She told government officials, “Whatever you want, we can get it. Pills, powders, liquids – we do it all. And yes, it might cost a few quid more than you’re paying elsewhere, but that’s supply and demand, isn’t it?
“The marketplace has spoken, and it has said loud and clear that it would like me to once again get very rich by exploiting the taxpayer during a medical crisis. It would be churlish not to listen when it speaks so loudly.
“So here I am, just a girl, asking you boys, to give me millions of pounds of taxpayer money to maybe supply you something you need. Or not. There are no guarantees, obviously.
“Please don’t be put off by the fact that before Monday I couldn’t pick a packet of penicillin out of line-up – just write the bloody cheque and be done with it.”