‘Do we REALLY need pigs in blankets?’ asks man apparently intent on ruining Christmas

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A man has asked his wife today if they really need pigs in blankets on their Christmas dinner, in an apparent act of sabotage on the whole of Christmas. 

Simon Williams, who saw on the news that the price of chipolatas had risen substantially along with the rest of the ingredients for a Christmas dinner, asked if they actually needed them, or if his wife was happy to have a completely ruined Christmas.  

Speaking earlier he asked, “Do we definitely need sprouts as well?

“I decided to ask my wife if we really needed the pigs in blankets as part of our Christmas dinner this year, or if she was just happy to have a completely ruined Christmas by omitting them.

“Obviously everyone knows that if you don’t have pigs in blankets on your dinner, you may as well not bother cooking it, and it will spoil the day for everyone, along with omitting sprouts.

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“But I just thought, if they are about three quid for twelve then it’s really expensive.

“And I’d rather have everyone crying at the dinner table saying how utterly shit this Christmas is than spend three unnecessary quid.”

Asked if he considered leaving anything else out of the meal in order to save some money he told us “Are you sure we need the turkey?”