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A man has today spoken out against Joe Lycett’s ‘self-indulgent stunt’ in shredding £10,000, while believing there is ‘nothing to see here’ in the government writing off ten billion pounds on failed PPE contracts that in many cases made friends of the government very rich indeed.
Derek Matthews is a simple man, with simple tastes and a simplistic understanding of the world, and he told us, “Lycett is a wrong’un, definitely.
“He literally destroyed money, and that is an extremely evil thing to do in the midst of a cost of living crisis.
“Yes, I know you said ten billion of our money was written off by the government, and much of it went to their mates who got very rich while people died, but ten billion is SO much money, I can’t really comprehend it. And when I can’t comprehend something, I tend to ignore it and pretend it’s not happening. Much like the economic arguments against Brexit. The numbers were too big so I ignored them.
“So yeah, I’ll just focus my anger on the gay man in the rainbow coat if it’s all the same to you.”
Non-moron Simon Williams told us, “He’s struggling with the concept of ten billion pounds of our money being written off is he? Let me paint him a picture. Right Derek, you saw Joe Lycett shred that £10k in about thirty seconds, right? Well, if he kept on shredding stacks of cash, ten thousand pounds at a time, every thirty seconds, for eight hours a day, seven days a week, it would take him THREE YEARS to get through ten billion.
“Only he’d be shredding OUR money, not his own. But you go right ahead and stay cross at the gay man in the rainbow coat, you government will thank you for it.”
The Cabinet of Arseholes – get the new mug this Christmas!
