People who still believe in a ‘Brexit Dividend’ urged to avoid people selling magic beans

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Anyone who was tricked into believing in a ‘Brexit dividend’ has been urged to avoid scams that target the gullible for the foreseeable future.

As the UK was confirmed to have the lowest growth in the G20, and the slowest rebound from the pandemic, millions of gullible idiots remain convinced that the Brexit dividend is just around the corner.

Carer Simon Williams told us, “In the same way that we warn our elderly not to answer the door to salespeople, not to give out their bank details over the phone, and not to respond to emails from Nigerian princes, we feel it’s important we also keep an eye on our Brexit supporting friends.

“Many of them still believe in a Brexit dividend, much like some children of 12 or 13 cling to the idea that Santa is real, and it’s our job to try and protect them, even if they don’t want our help.

“It’s no good simply explaining that the government continues to spend money it doesn’t have, in celebration of a deal that didn’t work, to placate voters angry at not getting what they wanted.

“Evidence won’t work, so focus your energy on trying to stop them buying magic beans from the next shyster that promises them sunlit uplands.”

However, Brexit supporter Derek Matthews remains adamant the Brexit dividend is real, telling us, “Just because we’ve got lower growth than the major EU economies isn’t because of Brexit, it’s just because loads of businesses are finding things much more difficult than they did before we left the EU. Completely unrelated.

“Plus, after six long years, we almost got to send some asylum seekers to Rwanda – so if that’s not a Brexit bonus, then I don’t know what is.”

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