‘She could have pushed harder’ – Man left fuming after narrowly missing out on having world’s eight billionth child

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

A man is fuming today after narrowly missing out on having the world’s eight billionth child, by just one. 

Simon Williams, whose daughter was born this morning and became the 8,000,000,001st person on the planet, revealed his frustrations earlier after learning they missed out on the position by just seconds due to his wife’s inability to put some bloody effort in. 

Speaking earlier he told us, “Gutted. Eight billion and one is neither here nor there. Nobody cares.

“I read that the eight billionth person on the planet was going to be born today and we had actually gone into labour this morning, so I knew we had a chance.

“I promptly told the wife about it, in between her contractions, and when she eased off a bit on the screaming. Although I don’t think her heart was really in it. 

“Obviously it’s a massive thing to be the eight billionth person, and it would have been amazing – it would probably have set our daughter up for life – but we just missed out on it by one, apparently.

“Some kid born in a small village in South America pipped us to it. Absolutely devastated. We were literally seconds away.

“I don’t want to point any fingers or anything, but between you and me, I think we could have done it, if she’d just pushed a little bit harder and put a bit more effort in. 

“I’m just saying.”