Putin assures innocent Poles that missiles were meant for innocent Ukrainians

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

Vladimir Putin’s missiles have gone and killed the entirely wrong innocent people altogether.

The Fisher-Price Dictator was left red-faced when one of his missiles went off course and hit a Polish farm near the Ukrainian border.

“Oh, bother,” understated Putin.

“That’s embarrassing, sorry, everyone. We will replace the building and your relatives.

“You know how it is… you make a targeted attack on your enemy’s infrastructure right before winter, you get over-excited and you accidentally blow up the wrong innocent people entirely.

“I would like to reassure the people of Poland that these missiles were never intended for innocent Poles, only innocent Ukrainians.”

Polish citizen, Szymon Williams, suggested, ”Oh do f**k off.

“MAYBE don’t fire any missiles AT ALL, and just stick a sock down there, did that occur to you?

“The Soviet Union has gone, it’s not coming back, nobody f**king likes you and I bet you’re actually shit at judo but nobody has the balls to tell you.

“Leave everyone alone and go and play Command and Conquer to scratch your war itch. You’ll upset fewer people and you might even have a good time.”