“They wouldn’t even change the club name to Ronaldo FC”

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

Cristiano Ronaldo has hit out at Manchester United in an explosive interview.

The footballing legend and whining tosspot was interviewed by Piers Morgan, where Ronaldo complained about everything from Erik Ten Hag to Wayne Rooney to the fact that the kitchen staff were still there, for some reason.

“I have been disrespected,” claimed the jumped-up little twat, Ronaldo.

“My demands were very simple; an army of servants, 400-grand a week and change the club name to Ronaldo FC. None of this is difficult.

“Ragnick couldn’t get any of this done, and neither can Ten Hag. It’s embarrassing. Sir Alex Ferguson would have given me all of that. He is famously accommodating of egotistical demands such as mine.”

A spokesperson for Manchester United said “As per usual this season, we are very disappointed in this performance from Cristiano Ronaldo.

“We will be offering this long-past-it underwear model out to anyone and everyone who wants him in January. In fact, we’d quite like Arsenal to buy him, just to watch him wreck their season. That would be double-funny.

“Regardless, the only thing we are giving Ronaldo for Christmas is a P45 and a one-way bus ticket to anywhere.”