Black Friday is set to be re-named ‘Normal Run of The Mill Shit Friday’ this year it is revealed, due to people not being able to afford to buy a single thing.
With the cost of living crisis worsening every day, and the country almost certainly in recession, millions of people will be looking forward to buying absolutely nothing this ‘Normal Run of The Mill Shit Friday’ because they need to put the heating on instead.
Shopper Simon Williams confirmed, “Yes, I think the name needed changing.
“Based on the fact that it will be just like every other Friday this year, where I can’t afford a thing because I need to buy some petrol.
“I used to love picking up a so-called bargain that Amazon convinced me I needed on Black Friday, such as a Soda Stream or a Fitbit, even though I don’t do any exercise.
“But this year I think I will be spending any spare pennies I have on the cheapest bag of pasta I can find, and maybe even some bread, or letting the kids have a warm shower.
“Obviously if there are some bargains to be had then I’d love to snap them up, but only if they involve feeding my kids and possibly keeping my house warm.
“Other than that, I think it will just be like any other normal run-of-the-mill Friday and I’m glad that’s what they have named it.
“Because I am absolutely skint, and I can’t aff….. WOW!! SHIT 2% off AIR FRYERS! I’ll stick it on my credit card.”